EMOTIONAL CONSIDERATIONS

Chronic or life-threatening illnesses carry a heavy emotional load with them. This is just not about some obscure body that has malignancies. There is always an emotional component that goes hand in hand with someone who may be facing their own mortality. This person, and their loved ones, are feeling a tremendous amount of emotions that many times are left undiscussed. (I find that about half of my time on the phone with clients or their loved ones is addressing this issue.) The possibility of facing death or suffering is hard to escape. In my opinion, you can not help someone help themselves effectively unless you are willing to look at this issue.

One of the most effective ways I have found to help people cope during this time is to encourage them to be pro-active in their healthcare. Research all you can - information is power— , take control of the body that you inhabit (it’s your responsibility after all—no one else’s), and be an active conductor orchestrating your recovery. Surround yourself with persons who will support you in what you need. Utilize fully that inner wisdom you were born with.

I have taken care of patients who were “terminal” - I detest that word! I have sat at the bedside of family members who refused complimentary options, hopelessly watching them slowly deteriorate before my eyes. I have held the hands of someone taking their last breath. I have cried, screamed, bargained, cried some more and felt utterly useless. I have watched people I deeply loved succumb to this dis-ease. I’ve spent most of my days listening to people who are devastated, afraid, panicked. Feeling like they have no hope left, or that turning to complementary options is their last chance. They just needed someone to let them know they have someone on their side. All this makes me fight even harder!

On the other hand, I wish that all of you could be here to listen in sometimes when I pick up the phone. I hear “Kathy, I just had to call you and let you know that the doctor can’t find any more trace of my cancer.” “Kathy, my tumor is getting smaller.” “I feel so much better now. I can eat and I feel like I have a fighting chance.” Every single one of these people are taking control of their lives. They are also utilizing chemotherapy and/or radiation, numerous supplements, revamping their nutritional intake, prayer chains&ldots;.the list is endless.

Unfortunately many times health professionals seem to be too busy, preoccupied, or aloof to address the emotionally charged aspects of illness. Clients tell me they went to the doctor expecting some kind of emotional support, and felt hopeless after their appointment. They are not counselors. I was taught in nursing school to not get “emotionally involved” with my patients—that this could interfere with objectivity. We go to the doctor expecting him/her to have all the answers. This happens all too often, as we have put the medical profession onto some sort of obscure pedestal, turning over our responsibility for what is done to our body. Thankfully, this is changing. They don’t deserve or need that responsibility. It is yours and yours alone.

Doctors are primarily trained in diagnosing illness, disease, imbalances in the body. They may rely heavily on tests to help them. Most of their “tools” are surgery, pharmaceuticals, and keen assessment skills. Much of their time and schooling is not spent in learning nutrition, prevention of illness, herbs, massage therapy, meditation&ldots;.etc. Its’ getting better, but we have a long way to go! Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Physicians are one of the many professionals we can utilize on our “team” in our search for wellness. Our expectations for them to “fix everything” are unrealistic. Just as you would do with many other areas of your life, find the person who you think can help you most, that you feel the most comfortable with, that will answer your questions, give you facts pertaining to your situation, and demonstrates a measure of compassion.

False hope. What is that anyway? I have been accused of promoting that in people. I don’t see how those two words go together. I really can’t. Either you have hope or you don’t. Plain and simple. With hope, people live way beyond expected time predictions, recover from devastating illnesses (“miraculous recoveries,” “spontaneous remissions”, wrong diagnoses), and literally beat all the odds, or in the very least have a better quality of life. Without hope, we die. So simple. When a person gives up their will to live, you can literally watch them fade away. Powerful chemicals in the brain respond to each and every thought we produce. Think about that.

To me, false hope means that that person expects the other to not survive based on their biases, or area of education. If a person tells me they want to live, I believe them. I encourage them. Now, when my aunt told me she was ready to leave her body, I believed her. I supported that with love, compassion and the knowledge that it is her body and her choice whether she wants to live or not. I didn’t want her to go. I had no say-so though! Maybe my experience working in Hospice helped. Maybe my near-death experiences. Whatever, but acceptance can be difficult for us no matter how mature, spiritual, educated or open-minded we think we are. It’s absolutely necessary to move on though.

Making this tea is one of few health choices that can be physically AND emotionally positive in some regards. I encourage people to not buy the ready-made tea for this reason. A loved one can brew the tea and feel that they are actually a part of helping their family member or friend do something pro-active. They can’t participate in the chemotherapy or radiation treatments, nor can they do most of the other things that person will need to do in their treatment. Whether it be the loved one or the person experiencing cancer who brews the tea, there is an emotional component attached to that which is not obtainable with anything else.

I also encourage loved ones to take the tea along with them. Again, it can be an emotionally powerful—and positive— experience. Obviously, I am not referring here to someone who is physically unable to make the tea. It would be better for them to take the ready—made tea than none at all if they choose this option in their regime. Even brewing the tea for your own consumption, makes you a more active participant in your choices. Some prefer to call it “making their own medicine.”

This information is provided for educational purposes and to promote discussion only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat or claim cure for any disease or imbalance in the body.

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